This article is about the video game version. For the movie version, see: The Bitch (film)
The Bitch is a character in POSTAL 2.
Description[edit | edit source]
The Postal Dude's wife, she goes unseen throughout the base game and is only heard in cutscenes. She leaves "a list of chores" for the Dude to do at the beginning of each day. During the game, she will not let the Dude back into the trailer until he has completed the errands of the day. She makes special note for the Dude to "not forget her Rocky Road" which ironically, is never on the Dude's list of errands. She leaves the Dude and "moves back in with [her] mother" at the start of Apocalypse Weekend.
In Paradise Lost, the Bitch finally makes her first physical appearance at the end of Wednesday. She has lost a lot of weight and is about to marry Madcow Mike J. However, upon hearing the Dude's voice, she gets pissed, leading to a boss fight with her. The player is given the option to either kill her (with violence) or to trick her into dashing into four giant cakes which disable her by turning her fat. If killed, Mike J will revive her with his "life-giving man milk" which will also make her fat. Either way, the Dude remarks "Now I recognize her".
Later, she reappears with Mike J at the Hell Hole on Friday, attempting to take Champ away from The Dude, leading to another boss fight. During this fight, she swallows several loads of Mike J's man-milk causing her to swell in size. Eventually, she falls into a giant abyss where she transforms into a giant demon, serving as the final boss in Paradise Lost.
When defeated once more, she berates the Dude about their life together, how he was a terrible husband, and how he never remembered her rocky road. The Bitch is then destroyed once and for all by the leftover IED thrown by the Dude.
Alternatively, if the player has zero kills on their current run, she will have a change of heart realizing that the love of her life wasn't a Mad Cow Zombie Demon Overlord, but the Postal Dude, and asks him to take her back. The Postal Dude's simple response was giving her the finger and telling her he doesn't "give a shit", a nod to Gone with the Wind. She starts crying and smashing around the place while the Postal Dude escapes and rocks seal off the entrance behind him.
It is unknown what happens to her afterwards, but it is possible that she died when the rocks collapse on her.
POSTAL 4: No Regerts[edit | edit source]
A sign in Edensin implies that "Mike J killed his wife" instead of the Postal Dude. As the game is still in development, this is unconfirmed.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- She has the Dude's name tattooed above her right breast. However, as seen in Paradise Lost, it is crossed out and Mike J is written underneath it
Gallery[edit | edit source]
|Characters in POSTAL 2|
|The Postal Dude Jr. | The Bitch | Champ | Vince Desi | Mike J | Habib | Gary Coleman | T. Dude, Sr. |Krotchy | Larry the Crab | Uncle Dave | Junkyard Guy | Osama | Phraud Hogslop | Rosco | Zombie Dad | Leprechaun | Easter Bunny | PU CEO | Zack Ward | Yeeland | Old Farmer | John Murray | Big McWillis | Milo Yiannopoulos | Two-Ears | That Beloved Bookcase ||
|Law Enforcement Organizations|
|Paradise Police Force | SWAT | National Guard | ATF | Lawmen | Survivalists | DEET ||
|RWS Protestors | Book Protestors | Rednecks | Butchers | Carriers | Terrorists | Vegetarians | Food Technicians | Game Devs | Gingers | Bandits | Survivalists ||
|Bystanders | RWS Staff | Bank Robbers | Marching Band | Coleman's Crew | Priests | Religious Zealots | Postal Babes | Zombies | Security Staff | Skeletons | HAAT | Cole-Men | Robots | Gimps ||
|Dogs | Cats | Elephants | Cows | Pigeons | Monkeys | Velociraptors|