The very rare Krotchy doll.

The "Bad Touch" Krotchy Doll is a famous toy appearing in the Postal series.

Postal 2Edit

"The Krotchy Doll is an amusing item for all ages to play with. Use him and he will respond to your advances." — The Krotchy Doll's description in the manual

In Postal 2, the Krotchy Doll is first sold at Toyz 'n tha Hood. One of the errands the Postal Dude must complete on Thursday is to get one of the dolls. When he arrives to the Paradise Mall, the Krotchy mascot tells him there are no more dolls left, but that he can get instead a Larry the Crab doll. The Postal Dude indeed realizes that there are no more dolls for sale, so he decides to go to the back room to get it. On his way, he is confronted by Toyz 'n tha Hood employees, until he manages to get the Krotchy doll. Once the Postal Dude gets it, a group of Police officers try to arrest him. Finally, the door out of the store will be barred by Krotchy mascot, which is now toting a Rocket Launcher. At the end of the day, the Postal Dude's wife asks him if he was able to get the Krotchy doll, and tells him that people were selling them for very high prices online.

Using the doll makes it say "Don't touch me, I'm calling my lawyer" or "Momma says don't touch me there", among other things.

On Friday, a desk clerk at Fee of America is selling Krotchy dolls.

Alternatively, The Postal Dude can bribe the Krotchy mascot to get the doll. Although in doing so, he will give all of his current money to buy it.

Postal 3Edit

Krotchy dolls return in Postal 3. Uncle Dave tasks the Postal Dude with delivering Krotchy dolls to Krotchy's Tossed Salads so that they could be given to the children.


In the Postal film, the Krotchy dolls play a pivotal role. Uncle Dave owes over a million dollars in back-taxes, so he and his cult plan to steal a shipment of 2000 Krotchy Dolls to sell them in $4000 each. Osama also plans to get the dolls to commit another massive terrorist attack, this time by infecting the dolls with Avian influenza and sell them to American children. After a gun battle at the shipment's destination, the amusement park Little Germany, the Postal Dude, Uncle Dave and the cult finally get away with the shipment.

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