Postal Wiki

This article is about the original incarnation. For later versions see: Health Pipe (POSTAL 4)


A Health Pipe

"This can't be good for me, but I feel great!"

The Health Pipe is an item in POSTAL 2.


The manual description:

One method of restoring health is by using the Health Pipe. These are indigenous to Paradise and the actual contents are a closely guarded secret. Smoking it not only returns some life, but it also will temporarily strengthen the Postal Dude beyond his normal capacity. Because the Health Pipe has addictive qualities the Postal Dude will need to smoke again soon or he will take some damage after coming down from his high. After a few minutes he will begin to complain about feeling bad from smoking. As he continues to mention this you can see that the Dude’s heart (in the HUD) will beat faster and more erratically. Eventually, if he doesn’t smoke another health pipe, he’ll take some damage from the addiction and then return to normal (completely losing his craving).

Out of every health item in POSTAL 2, the Health Pipe is the best in terms of the amount of HP it heals. When smoked, it automatically sets the Postal Dude's hitpoints to 125, which makes it extremely useful to have in case a situation is looking dire. This comes at a price however; after 400 seconds the Postal Dude's heart rate will start to speed up and he will eventually have a small heart attack due to withdrawal, taking down his health by 25% (this can be avoided by smoking another Health Pipe). From the start of POSTAL 2, a house in the Home area known as the Emporium of the Local Health Pipe Distributor sells Health Pipes. Every pipe costs $100 on Monday, and the price increases by $100 each day. Health Pipes can be bought at every place with a "Health Pipes for Sale" sign, or be found in several areas of Paradise.

On the highest two difficulties, Health Pipes basically serve as medkits, healing 30 HP upon touching it. If the player manages to purchase one, it will be put directly into the inventory.


  • The Health Pipe resembles a crack cocaine pipe. More evidence includes being called crackpipe in the game's files.
  • The health pipes might be a pharmaceutical drug or legalized due to the fact that cops ignore you if you smoke one near them. Also, there are various dealers selling them like the Queers and Mike J selling them in the Desiplexxx, and Civvie 11 in Civive's Crackpipe Emporium.