A Health Pipe

"This can't be good for me but I feel great. " — The Postal Dude after taking a smoke from health pipe

"One method of restoring health is by using the Health Pipe. These are indigenous to Paradise and the actual contents are a closely guarded secret. Smoking it not only returns some life, but it also will temporarily strengthen The Postal Dude beyond his normal capacity. Because the Health Pipe has addictive qualities the Postal Dude will need to smoke again soon or he will take some damage after coming down from his high. After a few minutes he will begin to complain about feeling bad from smoking. As he continues to mention this you can see that the Dude’s heart (in the HUD) will be faster and more erratically. Eventually if he doesn’t smoke another health pipe, he’ll take some damage from the addiction and then return to normal (completely losing his craving)." — The Health Pipe's description in the manual

The Health Pipe is a health item in Postal 2 and its expansion, Apocalypse Weekend. Out of every health item in both games, the Health Pipe is the best in terms of the amount of HP it heals. When smoked, it automatically sets the Postal Dude's hitpoints to 125, which makes it extremely useful to have in case a situation is looking dire. At a price however, after around 5 minutes Postal Dude's heartrate will start to speed up and he will eventually have a small heart attack due to withdrawal, taking down his health by around 25% (this can be avoided by smoking another one). From the start of Postal 2, a house in the Home area known as the Emporium of the Local Health Pipe Distributor sells Health Pipes. Every pipe costs $100 on Monday, and the price increases by $100 each day. Health Pipes can be bought at every place with a "Health Pipes for Sale" sign, or be found in several areas of Paradise.

In A Week in Paradise, the health pipe is surpassed in health when compared with M@DJ@cK@L's Bong and some Weed, automatically setting health to 150 compared to the Health Pipe, but the health isn't set in a instant.

In Postal 2 Complete, on higher difficulties, Health Pipes basically serve as medkits, healing 30 HP upon touching it. If the player manages to purchase them, then they are put directly into the inventory.


  • The "Health Pipe" is actually a crack cocaine pipe. The developers most likely named it differently to avoid being accused of "encouraging usage of crack cocaine", which risks various severe consequences.