A cow in the Cow Pasture.

Cows are a type of animals first introduced in Apocalypse Weekend. On Saturday, the Postal Dude is hired as "new mad cow relocation engineer", and is given the mission to slay 20 diseased cows at the Cow Pasture. For this mission, he is given a sledgehammer and some grenades. However, in the middle of the process, a group of Vegetarians launch an attack on the Postal Dude for killing the cows. Some of the cows are notoriously diseased, with some chunks of flesh missing in their bodies, and attacking the Postal Dude without reason.

If a sledgehammer is thrown in the direction of a cows butt, it will be inserted into the anus, paralyzing the animal and prompting Postal Dude to say phrases like "Oh man, how I will get that back?"

In A Week In Paradise, cows are introduced earlier in the week, appearing in various areas of Paradise, such as the Asylum garden, Earl's Elephant Ranch and Grill, the Forest, the transition area to the School Daze, and on Wednesday, the backyard of Lucky Ganesh. Unlike the cows in Apocalypse Weekend, the cows in Paradise are not diseased until the weekend arrives.

In Paradise Lost, cows return on Wednesday in the Meadow as they must be milked in order to recieve Kosher Breast Pump for Mike J.


  • In Postal 2, a dead cow is seen being triturated at Meat World. Apparently, the Butchers threw it alive into the grinder, since the back part of the body of the cow is seen hanging from the grinder.
  • According to Steve Wik, game designer of the real RWS Inc., "The average joe just has no comprehension of how complicated it is to get bovine anuses functioning correctly in the Unreal engine..."
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